我的故事

9月30日, 我為了逗一個朋友, 說一個教我苦笑(十多年)的故事.
樂觀開心的我以外, 那是我的另一面.

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it's just like my A-level - 考得唔好又如何
i tell u one thing about my Chinese name.when i was young, i dislike my Chinese name - what's the point to say 競怡... ?? my sister's name is meaingful - 競慧 refers to intelligence
my mom says: i wanna name you 競聰. However you're born to be a girl, we could only name you immediately. 怡 is simple
that means, MEANINGLESS!!that's why i am so much stupid than my sister! bad in English, Chinese, Maths... nothing good!I even wanna commit suicide at my age of 8
i was so unhappy until 18, my A-level year
my Chinese teachers always gave me advice, coz they knew I had psychological problem. I could be very tough, but could not use my skills at all. Two teachers gave me consultation every week. they always said " 今日放學過來傾下" they did not tell me off, just gave consultation.
i cannot count how many times i wept in front of them. Until one day, i realised suddenly what my Chinese name is... the word 競 is just kind of pressure - people had high expectation when they saw the word. Coincidently my 怡 means happiness. That's nothing related to "how to compete against each other". I just remain happiness, the world is not that bad
Up till today, my sister just lives under her name (intentionally Intelligent? afraid not) I have already lived above my name.
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沒趣? 很可悲?

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i give you 70 years to survive in this world.
U've spend almost 30 years. what do u want to do in the next 40 years
for me, 開開心心做人, 入城大以前, 我做人真的很辛苦. 在城大我至少找到自己. 我做到我喜歡的事, 遇到欣賞我的人, 即使不是甚麼名校, 我總算有一班同窗4年的同學, 大部份的人都享受在那裡的日子. 人生不是要威風, 開心可以很簡單 - 要懂得滿足. 如果我早明白這個道理, 我的人生不會在這條路上.

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我相信總會有人有同感.
再見九月.